Communication is vital for a healthy marriage. But it’s something so many of us struggle with in our marital relationship. Here’s a list of 20 communication tips for marriage to help you create a happier and healthier union.
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This year my husband and I celebrated our ten-year anniversary. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we’ve been married for ten years (together for fifteen). But other times, we feel like an old married couple.
If you’ve been married for a similar length of time, you can probably relate.
Our ten-year anniversary has me thinking about marriage and communication. With our jobs, taking care of our kids, and managing all of our other responsibilities, finding time to communicate can be difficult.
There are days when we only have a few minutes to spend with each other. That means we have to be super intentional with the time we do have together.
Honestly, that’s not always easy to do.
We, like many couples, often fall into the marital trap of assuming that we know what each other is thinking and feeling.
Communicating With Your Spouse
Of course, there are many other reasons why couples have a hard time communicating, from being too busy to different communication styles.
But when you assume that the other person knows what you’re feeling and thinking, you can be setting yourself up for a communication fail.
Although I’m not a marriage expert, I am an experienced wife. And, that’s taught me a few things over the years.
Here’s a list of 20 communication tips for marriage I’ve compiled to inspire you (and me) to have a happier and healthier marriage.
20 Communication Tips For A Happier And Healthier Marriage
- Take 1-2 minutes every morning to discuss your day. Trust me, I know that this can sometimes be difficult. But it’s worth it to stay on the same page with what’s happening that day. Writing a note on a chalkboard or piece of paper can help too.
- At night, ask your spouse about his day. Dinner time is always a good time to discuss the day. But if that’s not possible, make an effort to ask each other about the day’s activities.
- Spend one night per week discussing the week ahead. A weekly meeting with your spouse to plan or discuss the week ahead is the perfect way to prevent communication fails during the week.
- Make time to tell your spouse something that you appreciate about him. Expressing gratitude for each other is one way to stay positive in your marriage. And it helps you each to appreciate everything you do for each other.
- When your spouse is telling you about something you disagree with, let him finish talking before speaking. This one can be difficult. But it’s important to allow each other to be heard. It also gives you some time to think about how you’re going to respond before responding.
- Use positive language when responding to a topic of disagreement. This tip is related to the previous tip. Even when you disagree, do it in a way that remains positive and solution-based.
- Look each other in the eye when talking. Looking each other in the eye will help you to connect more and to read each other’s emotions when speaking.
- Hold hands or show affection in some way when talking to each other. Making an effort to hold hands, embrace, or kiss will bring you closer to each other.
- Use conversation starters to get the conversation started during a date night. Sometimes we need a little help to communicate with each other. Having conversation starters handy can help.
- Go away together. Take time to spend time alone. Leave the kids with a relative and get away for a night or two. This time together will help revitalize your marriage.
- When expressing your emotions, use “I feel…” statements. When you communicate the way you feel with “I feel” statements, you focus on feelings rather than statements that might be perceived as accusatory.
- For significant discussions, write our what you want to say ahead of time. Sometimes we need to prepare for these big conversations. Brainstorm what you want to say ahead of time. And, practice if it will help you communicate all you want or need to say.
- If your emotions get too big, table the discussion for later. If the conversation starts getting too heated, it may be that it’s not something to talk about just yet. Allowing yourself to cool off before continuing the conversation might be the way to go.
- Write out what you want to say in a letter if expressing it in words is too difficult. There may be something you want to say that you can’t verbalize. Writing a letter may be the best way to communicate in this case.
- Have “remember when” conversations to remind yourselves of how far you’ve come in your marriage. Reflecting on your years together helps strengthen your marital bond. And it’s fun to remember all of the times you’ve shared together over the years.
- Be gentle with each other when communicating. Use kind words with each other. Think before you speak and refer to #13 if you find yourself raising your voice.
- Practice active listening. Active listening will let your spouse know that you hear him. Listen fully, respond empathetically, and acknowledge what he says.
- Have technology-free times together. Looking at your smart phone while talking to your partner is not the best way to fully engage. Put the phone down. Create device-free times to spend with each other.
- Read and discuss a book together. Similar to conversation starters, reading a book together can be a great way to open the line of communication. Discussing a new topic together will also help you learn more about each other.
- Ask about each other’s interests or hobbies. Take an interest in each other. If your spouse has a hobby or passion, ask about it. Letting him know that you care about his interests shows that you care about him.
Make Improving Communication One Of Your Goals for Your Marriage
Do you have goals for your marriage? Marital goals can help you stay intentional in your relationship.
If communication is something you want to work on, set a marital goal to improve communication.
Write out specifically what you’ll work on. And then take the time to check in with each other during a weekly meeting with your significant other to see how you’re doing.
Which of these communication tips for marriage is your favorite? I’d love for you to share it with me in the comments section below.
With Gratitude and Joy,